How to be more like Paul:
In loving memory of our friend Paul Wilbert.
The following was written and read by Paul's daugter, Emily McGough at his memorial after his passing in March 2016. It is very generously, and gratefully being printed with her permission:
Laugh at farts…and poop. At one point, dad’s favorite website was www.fakecrap.com. He had an assortment of fake turds, fake dirty diapers and other poop-related paraphernalia that he would carry with him. On one river trip I recall, he strategically placed a fake turd NEXT to the river toilet with a bunch of toilet paper as a joke.
Ride a bike, whether it’s yours or someone else’s. Dad was particularly fascinated and obsessed with human-powered bicycle travel.
Volunteer for things you’re passionate about. Not to build a resume or get credit for doing good. Just do good.
Make music with friends. As a kid, this was something that always happened around the campfire on river and camping trips. No matter how good or how much of a novice someone was, they were encouraged to play along and even solo. There was one summer that Shady Grove was the learning song of choice and it must have been played a thousand times so that everyone could get a hang of the chords.
Listen to music. Get inspired by music. Listen to other people’s music. Mostly, just have music in your life.
Create and build things that make people come together and be happy.
Listen intently to people’s stories.
Believe that people are innately good. This is a very difficult quality to maintain in the world we live in. Dad rarely locked his bike. And I think only once one of them got stolen. Luckily, he has good friends who spotted it and stole it back with the help of a hack saw…
Nap. 20 minutes in the afternoon will do ya good.
Give only thoughtful gifts, and not only on holidays.
Repurpose old crap for a better cause.
Indulge in the things that make you happy: good dark chocolate, peanut butter, coffee
Don’t make yourself suffer through the things that don’t make you happy: like cleaning your house, eating chunky spaghetti sauce, going to the dentist, or making Excel spreadsheets.
Invest in trees.
Do work that makes the world more beautiful.
Let children discover. I think this building is the most appropriate explanation of this point. He always thought that kids shouldn’t be told what they should be finding or seeing. They should be allowed the process of figuring it out and discovering on their own.
Open your home to others.
Hike for days with everything you need on your back.
Give people responsibility, especially kids. Even if it means letting two 12-year old kids do all the grocery shopping for a 16 person river trip for 4 days. So, you end up eating only pringles, peanut brittle and cheese on the last day…who cares? Those two kids learned from it and gained the confidence and skills to plan food for river trips!
Revel in the wonders of the natural world. Be curious about stars and the microscopic world. Carry a magnifying glass with you, perhaps everywhere you go.
Love people for who they are in this moment, not only the potential that they have to become something better.
Work hard so you can play more. Don’t spend all your young years working and putting off all the play for later. Play now and work now. Balance them.
Ponder the meaning of life often, in a hot tub if possible.
Make time for adventure, in your own backyard or around the world. Don’t spend too much of your adventure checking email or writing postcards, just be present in the place.
I’m sure everyone in this room has something to add to this list. And many people have said that dad never said anything bad about anyone he met. Well, that’s not true. One of the main mottos he lived by was, “Don’t be a jerk.” (He may have used a more explicit term…)
So please take a sticker as a reminder of ways to be more like Paul. And think of how much better the world would be if we all integrated one or two of these qualities into our own.